Discourage

This week I lost more vision in my right eye so it has put me in the dump a little. I think what scares me the most is not knowing when that day will be that I won't have any vision. Every time I lose a little more I start all over with the denial and frustration. With trying to come to terms with my disability causes more mix emotions of anger, anxiety, fear and others that I can't stop thinking about the negative stuff and focus on the positive. With all these emotions it makes it hard to think that I have the strength to handle it. Everyone says I am strong and maybe on the outside looking in I do, but in the inside I feel like the weight of the world is on my shoulders. I know that I need to use my cane and not worry about what others think when they see me. But it is so awkward using it and just reminds me that my syndrome is real. I don't want to face it, too big of a battle and I feel that I'm doing it on my own since I don't have anyone to relate to and no one can understand what its like for me. I know that I have the support of family and friends all around me but they can only do so much. I hope one day I will be able to accept it, I not let it control my life but I control it.